Don't Hug Me I'm Scared: The True Story
by jackowlgem
Summary: This is the true story of the acclaimed web series


Doi is a deeply disturbed 40 something year old man, who thinks that he is 5 years, due to a freak accident involving a molotov cocktail and Orange Tic Tacs. He decides to move in with his best friend, Red Guy, who, as revenge for his parents being fucked up on meth and naming him Red Guy, wears Red at all times, including wearing a bloody mop that he used to kill his parents. As they live together, one day, Red Guy's Vietnam war buddy, Dudley, shows up at their door step. Dudley introduces himself as Duck, much to Red Guy's suprise. In the years since Vietnam, due to an extreme case of PTSD, Dudley had a mental breakdown and was put into a long term mental hospital for 8 months. When he got out, he discovered the internet, and the furry fandom. He then decided to wear a decapitated Duck Head he still had saved from Vietnam at all times. Once they all got to know each other, the mailman dropped off Duck's sketchbook, which he drew in as a coping skill to get rid of the Vietnam thoughts. Doi's destroyed mind interpreted this sketchbook as a sentient being, and had a severe mental breakdown after it destroyed his picture of a clown, which in reality was him ripping it up in a fit of mentally handicapped rage. A few short hours later, Red Guy comes back from the local Walmart with a new singing clock that runs on Double-A Batteries. When Doi here's the clock sing, his mind goes into another delusional state, and he starts seeing the clock take him and his friends through different time periods. Eventually he starts seeing him and his friends slowly aging and dying, which in reality was him freaking the fuck out from a combination of Cocaine and LSD, which Doi thought was Candy. After his trip, the gang decides to go out for a nice chicken picnic. When they get there, a bee, which Doi thinks is a butterfly, gets swatted by Duck. In a fit of tardrage, he gets triggered AF and climbs up a tree. When up there, his retard juice starts to kick in, and he see's a singing butterfly. The butterfly then teaches him about love, which his mind has turned into something evil after years of abuse by his alcoholic dad. After experiencing the true evils of love and religion, he comes a neckbeard fedora tipping atheist faggot. When the friends get back to the house, They decide to play a board game. When Red Guy and Duck are confused by the rules, they decide to look it up on the computer. When Doi see's the computer, he has flashbacks to the computer his dad showed him child pornography on, and flips the fuck out and starts seeing different mathematical graphs, while imagining every thing he sees as computery and animated. After he snaps out of it, Duck and Red Guy tell him it's time for dinner, and Red Guy is going to the store to buy dinner. Doi and Duck sit in the kitchen waiting for his return. Considering Doi has spent the last few weeks around Red Guy, him being gone confuses the fuck out of his mentally handicapped brain, and he thinks something is wrong and missing. He then goes into a state of depression and doesn't notice Red Guy come back, but does however notice the food. He proceeds to hallucinate about the food talking to him about what's healthy, when in reality, it was him overhearing Duck and Red Guy talking about seeking mental health for Doi. After this happens, Red Guy brings out a cooked duck, and being the fucking furry faggot he is, Duck flips the fuck out and leaves the house, never to return. Red Guy is pissed off by his, so decides to leave Doi with his father, Roy. Due to years of physical and mental abuse, Doi completely ignores Roy, and thinks he's still in Red Guy's house, only alone. As he goes to bed and turns out the light, he hallucinates about his lamp coming to life. He then starts hallucinating all the previous things he had hallucinated such as the clock and food, and starts seeing things like a solar system, a saxophone, a stop light and more. It finally ends when Doi hangs himself in his room, while Doi's soul forever remains in his torture.

THE END


End file.
